Writing about why I rock motherhood is a challenge. No, seriously! Some sweet mama decided to turn this into a challenge! It's going around the world, encouraging moms to think about their role, their contribution, the acknowledgment of everything we as mamas are and do. I have to thank Jessica from http://exceptionally-ordinary.com who tagged me. How could I say no?
Mamas, I accept the challenge!
On our way to school this morning, I gathered the courage to ask my still very sleepy boys, what they thought. I should've waited for the weekend when there are fewer distractions (we're passing a building site every morning - who can compete with awesome diggers and cherry pickers?), more time for bonding and chatting about this thing. But the little one came up with the first 3 points right away. Since he just shot them out, I find them incredibly honest, and so that's why I chose to include them. So here it is. My (our) list:
1. Kisses and cuddles.
I am so happy they know that they always have my arms to run to, that there's bottomless bag of kisses to splatter all over them, they'll never run out of, regardless of their age! And just to make sure they never forget it - there is this agreement among the three of us - never forget to give some of those kisses and cuddles back, mama loves to get them too!
2. I keep my boys safe.
I don't know why this would shoot out of his pretty little head, but I'll take it! Ok, there's the physical aspect of it. But when you're raising boys, I think it's also important to give them security, reassurance that it's ok to feel. Acknowledging their fears and frustrations, letting them know it's ok to feel, cry, shout when they need to. And then we breathe it out.
Also, as much as I let them fall, I am there to make sure, they can learn and experience life, without putting themselves in danger. I will link this to point 4., as they are connected.
Last, but not least I don't negotiate. When there's a safety issue, it is my way or no way at all. Seatbelts, helmets and other protective gear, crossing the road, crowded spaces. We normalize the rules, and everyone follows them (mommy and daddy included!).
3. I work.
It surprised me he would say that. I guess he's beginning to understand that we all have our split roles. We go to work/school and do our best there, but once we're home, we shift to our 'family shoes' and do what's needed.
I am also grateful he recognizes how important work is to me.
I am not just 'Mama', I am a complex creature that functions and thrives on several levels. I do better on all levels when I'm allowed to grow, learn, experience, share. And getting regular deposits to the bank account doesn't hurt either. So, without a shred of guilt - I work!
4. I let my boys fall.
I'm one of those dreadful moms, that lets her kids scrape their knees, get scars and bumps. I let them slide down the highest helter-skelter in the playground, spin as fast as possible, and swing the highest they can.
Yes, I"m on the verge of a heart attack way too often. I shriek here and there, wishing I could use Spiderman's move, and just shoot out the web that would catch them. My short legs are just not fast enough... But they are learning. They are experiencing situations and learning immensely from them. They live as they prepare for life.
5. I keep my boys healthy.
I've taken this one quite far. It's just that important to me. Some mamas are fashionistas, and so are their babes. Some mamas are into sports, some into travel, languages, Star Wars... Well, I"m into the healthy lifestyle.
I cook their school lunches every morning (it's quite handy, as the two of us are making better choices because of it too!) and make sure they have their healthy shake as soon as they get up.
We eat a lot better (and healthier) than we used to.
We love the outdoors! Especially since moving to North California.
We know when to take time off.
6. I am a 'guilt free' mom!
As mentioned above, it's crucial to have some time to yourself, where you can learn, grow, be productive, or just unwind. I go to dinners with other moms, movies, even trips away from my family. And I come back better for it!
7. I say when I'm wrong.
Admitting we were wrong is sometimes hard. But I expect my family to accept me with all my flaws and shortcomings, and that's why I don't feel my ego will bruise if I admit my mistakes. Saying 'I"m sorry, I was wrong', or 'Look, you were right! I didn't know about this! Wow!' goes a long way for our little ones! Partners too! Sometimes, that's all we need, to prevent our negative emotions to take over us.
8. I take my boys into consideration.
Making big family decisions (moving cities, countries) is not an easy job. We can get easily distracted with all the work and worries, that we forget our little ones feel and experience the results of our decisions in their ways. I'm learning to anticipate their struggles and reactions, and most of all, we talk to our boys and other families that have gone through it! I've learned from my mistakes. The same life situation repeated, and I could draw from the past experience and all the input from others. The results were amazing! I've never felt more proud of my munchkins! The last move felt like a breeze.
9. I take charge!
It's so hard to be in the 'bossy' shoes; I don't want to be in them. But there are times when the family needs that push. Someone needs to take charge, plan, delegate and oversee. I've labeled myself as the 'dictator mom/wife, ' and I hate it. But it got us places. There is a sense of pride in the end result; I have to admit.
10. I understand my role. I am a Mother.
I love my boys! I would not change my family for anything; I didn't! As their mom, I love, nurture, keep safe, teach, guide, help, understand, support, encourage in a way no one else can. This realization makes it really simple in the situations where I'm expected to be a 'buddy'. I am not their friend, and they are perfectly capable making their friends. They can have thousands of friends in their lifetime, but they can only have one Mother.
So this is my list. I've invited a few incredible mothers who blog to join us in this #rockingmotherhood blogging challenge, and am incredibly excited to read their lists! Make sure you visit their pages too:
Please feel free to comment below! I'd love to know which points are on your mama-tastic list!
Until next time, yours in health,